“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” ~Ronald Reagan. Great people with a heart of love, care, passion and with the expectations to have long-lasting relationships, unfortunately have always had a stormy relationship with either parents, siblings, colleagues, religious organizations, and more so relationship with the opposite sex that did not go well; To one’s own surprise it has been one filled with conflict, ego, competition, anger, and struggle. 

Thousands of people have this mindset that sometimes, the best thing you can do in a relationship is to break up. Breakup is a harsh term for some, however, it is the universal term people use to describe ending a relationship. Still, splitting up with someone doesn’t have to be forever. Many couples figure out that they still want to be together and work on improving their relationship after the break. Reconciling after a disconnection in a relationship is no easy task, especially if you and your partner are trying to resolve issues of emotional withholding and silent treatment. Fair enough, most relationships can be transformed for the better with a bit of time and effort, as well through effective couple relationship mentoring, counselling or coaching. Additionally, they  may find the support  needed to fix the relationship in intensive problems and solution counselling sessions. 

Before I begin to dig deep into the topic at hand, there is a need to create a sense of awareness that is it possible to work things out after the disconnection in the relationship? Naturally, reconciliation after a disconnection is not always possible. Sometimes, staying in a relationship isn’t healthy – you may be dealing with codependency or be disadvantaged at people’s pleasing tendencies. This is the greatest part of the good news that nevertheless many relationships can work if both parties work in unity to fix issues in healthy ways. For example, issues such as lack of intimacy, or poor communication between partners, friends and family as a whole can be settled with the right approach and a lot of tolerance. 

RECONCILIATION in a lay man’s perspective is a process between two or more people or among  groups of people who sincerely admit there have been some hurts, wrongs, misinterpretations of ideas and communication. If they are ready to sit down and discuss the cause and effect of a disconnection and at the same time come to a conclusive destination for peace to prevail among them and become friendly again. It is needful to deduce from the above topic that, reconciliation plays a very important role not only in relationships, but across multi-cultural differences and inclination.

This brings us to another side of the coin, by saying ”what does it mean to reconcile feelings?” It is a state where one is able to communicate his/ her needs, fears, hurts, understanding, and be valued, and not being judged. Joe Cole in his book ” Communication, Sex and Money” stated it emphatically that to conciliate anew ( in other words reconcile after a disconnection) is to restore to union and friendship after estrangement or variance; bring again to friendly or favorable feelings. To adjust; pacify; settle; so as, to reconcile differences or quarrels.

In the above respect, the issue of reconciling is not a one man’s contract, it is the duty of two individuals who through dialogue and sharing of ideas have felt needful to reconnect after a short while or so many years. In our world today, the concept is treated with the mindset of seeing a person who badly wants the relationship in a healthy atmosphere. That is not what we are teaching here. It is the realization of two people willing to transform a damaged or broken relationship into a right and harmonious relationship -to the satisfaction of both sides or parties. Furthermore, being over emotional when one person expresses her feelings will destroy the heart behind reconciliation. Therefore it is important to note that an atmosphere of transparency, listening, and selflessness must be created by these two individuals who are willing to let go of their ego, pride, and anger in that regard. Remember the will must be present, if you are not ready then give yourself some time to heal.

Watch out for part 2

Healing Wings Support. Abigail Borquaye

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