INTRODUCTION:

Our homes, relationships are the places we should feel  safest, and yet, for so many people, this is where the real danger lies. When you hear someone mention an ‘abusive relationship ‘ what do you think of? It might surprise you that any abusive relationships don’t become violent at all. Or that abuse victims can act completely normally to those outside the relationship.

Abusive relationships are often very intense. An abuser will most likely be very loving at the start, and shower their victim with compliments, attention, and affection. This quickly establishes a strong bond, and a sense of ‘you two against the world’. They typically want to spend a lot of time together, and express their love early. They may suggest moving in together quite quickly, or talk about marriage and children, and may even propose.
This intensity enables them to begin to control different parts of their victim’s life. An abuser may suddenly ‘flip’ to being aggressive and malicious in certain situations, becoming a totally different person to the one the victim thinks they know, leaving them in disbelief, shock, and confusion.

Sure, nobody’s relationship is perfect, and people make mistakes. But if you feel like you’re being treated badly, you probably are. Listen to your gut. Healthy relationships make you feel good about yourself — unhealthy relationships don’t.

Anyone can find themselves in an abusive relationship, no matter their age, gender, or sexual orientation. Magazines, Movies and TV shows that depict abuse might give you the impression that an abusive relationship is only when someone is getting hit or physically hurt. But there are different types of abuse that can affect your body, your emotions, and your self-esteem.

Abuse in a relationship can be classified into different categories. Albeit, perpetrators use against their victims, physical,sexual, psychological violence, emotional/mental, financial, spiritual,

To be more practical and have a great understanding of what this topic pertains to, let us take  one after the other and lay graphic examples on them. This will help you to identify the types anytime you come across such character manifestations:

PHYSICAL ABUSE

Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone, in a way that injures or endangers that person. Domestic abuse rarely starts at physical assault;perpetrators will use physical abuse when they feel they are being challenged.
Examples of physical abuse include:

  • Punching
  • Hitting
  • Spitting 
  • Kicking 
  • Strangling
  • Restraining  
  • Burning 
  • Scalding  
  • Stabbing
  • Head Butting
  • Head butting
  • Biting  
  • Nipping  
  • Squeezing  
  • Shoving 
  • Suffocating  
  • Pushing  
  • Choking  
  • Throwing
  • Breaking bones
  • Using weapons  
  • Poisoning  
  • Throwing things  
  • Force feeding  
  • Attempts to kill  
  • Reckless driving  
  • Pulling hair  
  • Murder.

SEXUAL ABUSE

Any situation in which someone is forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe or degrading sexual  activity, even when it’s with a partner the person is also having consensual sex is sexual abuse. Examples of sexual abuse include:

  • Rape (forced penetration)
  • Sexual assault (vaginal, anal or oral)
  • Sexual assault using objects;
  • Sex toys, broken glass, bottles, etc
  • Forcing sex in ways that hurt,or following a physical beating
  • Forcing sex with others
  • Forcing sex in front of others
  • Making her watch or mimic pornography
  • Unwanted fondling Videoing / photographing her in the act of sexual acts
  • Pinching or biting breasts and buttocks
  • Name calling e.g. frigid, whore
  • Criticizing her sexually
  • Forcing her to strip, or
  • forcefully stripping her
  • Sadistic sexual acts
  • Forcing her into prostitution
  • Withholding sex and/or affection
  • Making sex conditional on her behavior
  • Minimizing or denying her
  • feelings about sex or sexual preferences
  • Forcing or coercing her to act out fantasies she is not comfortable with.

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