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How to discover your true self.

June 26, 2024

Introduction: Have you ever wondered who you are and why it's so hard to find your passion or do the things you do? Many people struggle with this all over the world. Discovering our identity can be a difficult journey.

Where Can We Find an Accurate View of Ourselves? 

"Many false self-perceptions are too deeply rooted to be corrected with positive self-talk. We must identify the lies we believe in, renewing our minds with truth if lasting change is what we are after. Humbling and committing yourself to a change of mind will redirect the course of your life. Whether you perceive yourself positively, acquiring a vision of your true self through the lenses of truth is transforming.

How Do You See Yourself? Remember, for now, I am not asking you to describe the person you want to be; I am asking you to explain how you see yourself. This perception is your self-worth. It is the mental image you have of your own identity and self-worth. It is a composite of all things, recognising the mirror you investigate to see who you are. As you read, I want you to remember how that picture of yourself differs from the accurate picture.

"What distortions about your true identity have you embraced to the point of seeing them as reality? Recognise yourself. List them and identify them. Look at your tolerance level, what makes you happy, what annoys you, what makes you cry, how you want people to see you, the lies, the truth you tell yourself. The key is recognising these behaviours to navigate your relationships and life, understand what you want to change, and face your challenges." (Reflecting on awareness)

Where do you look for your significance? Our search for identity is closely related to the search for relevance. We can only know how valuable we are once we know who we are. We all look for our identity in certain people or things occasionally. Breaking out of the trap of performing to gain people's approval demands that we identify false patterns in our beliefs and behaviour.

But what defines you? Is it experiences, feelings, or the truth that an aspiration declares above them? Destiny's opinion of you is reality. To know your true self, you must anchor yourself in purpose. Radical transformation takes time and requires an intentional, systematic process. This is a journey for all of us, an ongoing, replenishing process of identifying the lies, calling them what they are, and replacing them with truth.

The more we engage in this process, the more the truth sinks into our hearts. Mental assent is just the beginning; we change when truth affects us emotionally, and we can only know how valuable we are, as we do with shame, anger, greed, and hatred, which are precisely eating their way into our words and actions.

We should start by identifying the symptoms and behaviours before delving into the guilt that causes them.

Ask yourself: Why do you do what you do? Be honest about the effectiveness of your current approach.

How do you cope with feelings of hopelessness, frustration, or purposelessness? Suppose you've ever experienced angst-related emotions, which often encompass these feelings. In that case, you know that angst can bring about deep anxiety, dread, and even depression. Most of us have encountered these emotions at some point. When faced with these feelings, people often respond through overcompensation or withdrawal.

"Remember, it's important not to let anything hold you back. We all have dreams and aspirations that are truly sacred! No amount of success, money, or influence can match the fulfilment of discovering your identity and purpose. Understanding yourself is a lifelong path of self-discovery. Here are some ways to help you better explore and comprehend who you are:"

1. Self-reflection:

Take some time to ponder your innermost thoughts, emotions, principles, and convictions. Journaling or meditation can provide an avenue for delving into your aspirations, apprehensions, and driving forces, ultimately leading to a more profound awareness.

2. Acknowledge strengths and weaknesses:

Remember to acknowledge and celebrate your strengths and talents while being open to areas where you can grow and improve. Accept yourself for who you are and be willing to work on becoming the best version of yourself.

3. Pursue passions and interests:

Engage in activities that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. Discovering your passions provides valuable insight and a sense of identity and purpose.

4. Seek feedback:

Ask for honest feedback from colleagues, friends, family, or mentors. They can offer insights into how they experience you and your strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots. Sometimes, people see and experience us differently. Feedback is always good for growth.

5. Reflect on experiences and decisions:

Evaluate past decisions and experiences that have influenced your life, relationships, and family. Recognise patterns in your life and gain insights into your values and identity.

6. Professional support:

If you're struggling with self-discovery or unresolved issues affecting your self-worth, consider seeking help from a therapist or counsellor. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your journey of self-discovery.


It's important to remember that self-discovery is a journey that takes time, and it's completely normal to experience different stages in life. Please be kind and patient with yourself as you explore and understand your identity. Understanding yourself better will make it easier for you to navigate through life. Knowing who you are enables you to embrace your journey, recognise your strengths and weaknesses, and take accountability for your mistakes.

By Abigail Borquaye @ Healing Wings Support.